A laconic speech doesn't necessarily point to a lack in knowledge. Consider disinterest, one of the most significant and overlooked non-feeling. Also the best method to deal with emotional blackmail and annoying people you secretly (or not so secretly) desire to stab repeatedly in their eyes. Don't think, just don't feel. It is a lot harder than one might expect. But while hard to learn, it is easy to master. People generally feel too much. That is not only unwise and often irrational but also usually a waste of time. Feelings tend to complicate matters when really, let's face it, it was or is probably a much simpler matter.

Look at the skies, look at your toes
Think about that song you last heard, remember the taste of ice cream.
Sit down, lie down
Drink something, eat nothing.

Hide behind the invisible veil
Take the original position.
Listen to the sounds of silence
Forget your past and memories.

There is no future in history. Use it as a guideline if you will, but over-reliance can be costly. Feelings are based on past experiences which have shaped how one feels accordingly to different situations. However, as history has proven to be an unreliable measure of things to come, so are the feelings one might associate with past events. They are often irrelevant and misleading when used as a gauge of current situations.

Hence, a simple solution is this: watch the telly. Better yet, watch some mind-numbing program like Bewitched or Spongebob Squarepants. Being outside is often overrated anyway and in all likelihood will disappoint, so why bother.

What is it with these new acronyms? I feel like one of those grumpy old folks who start off their rants with "you young people....".
During one of those late night online chat conversations, my friend starts using acronyms like "ttyl, ftw, zomg". WTF is TT? That is, what the fuck is that? This has extended to smses. Yes, I understand it shortens your sms and you managed to shave off a few seconds so you can twitter about what you just ate. But srsly, if u strt leavn out vowels its gonna rily piss me off.

Perhaps I'm being pompous and this is just a pet peeve of mine. Or worse, this is a clear signal I'm growing old and outdated. Someday people are going to start speaking in acronyms too. Oh wait, I think that is already happening. Sigh. Please excuse this old fogey here if she asks you to explain what you just lettered out.

So you read the news snippets while you're twittering and googling. Headlines pop up on your msn. You have coffee discussions with friends about current socio-political issues. You laugh at "edgy", "satirical", "hip" comedy because it reaffirms what you already know.

Just Shuttup Already.

Your opinions are merely noise vomit of the media. You are not intelligent just because you know the name of the president of Iran. You are not "politically aware" just because you get the jokes on 30 Rock. I do not need to hear you make sweeping statements because you think it is funny. No, you are not being satirical. There is a difference between satirical wit and 'i-laugh-at-these-jokes-because-i'm-smart-enough-to-get-it'.

It's a nice morning. Pleasant weather, spring is upon us all, blue skies and birds chirping. Lalala. I am for once, rather early and take a stroll to the bus stop. Then this happens...

After waiting for about 10 minutes, the bus arrives and a guy in front of me gets on. Then the bus door closes and it starts to drive off. I'm like huh?? I'm still at the steps waiting to get on?!

So I run alongside the bus that's starting to drive away and I knock on the door to get the driver's attention. He stops the bus, opens the door, and starts yelling at me to never do that and that I should be early if i want to catch the bus. i tell him that i WAS early, in fact i was there 10 mins before waiting. Then he says, or rather yells, (word for word because I have great memory retention for irrational and ridiculous things that really piss me off) " Well i didn't see you. And don't argue with me".

WTF. Excuse me mister, don't blame ME for YOUR mistake. I had to do something because you were driving off and I was right there! And the next bus is one bloody hour later!

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay. That shall be it for ranting.

After calming down and reflecting on the situation, I realized that it could actually be a really comedic scene. Think in Seinfeld, this is so something that could happen to George. So, you'know...someday...Someday, i shall pen down all these unjust, really-annoying-people-who-piss-me-off moments and write a brilliant script which will make millions. And you know how they say 'the following is based on fictional characters...etc.' Mine shall read "the following is based on very real characters. Yes, I know right, people like that actually exist. And if you find any resemblance to real-life people, well, it's probably based on YOU, arseface."

And if and when i do encounter any more annoying people, I will throw dollar notes in their faces and thank them for providing me more material.
HAH.
 

Youtube, Facebook and Twitter will merge to become a superpower time-wasting website.





+++

I just realized i spend 80% of my time online on these 3 websites and as usual, will accomplish absolutely nothing. Mindless videos and online social networking is horribly distracting in ways that I am both disgusted and horribly drawn to like a moth to a flame. need. to. stop.

Okay, so it's 9 in the morning. I go up to the topmost floor in Chifley library and sit at this desk where there was one book lying on it. I move the book to the upper shelf of the desk and proceed to take out my laptop and various other items to study. A girl comes along about 15-20mins later and tells me that she was one who placed the book there and hence that was "her table". At this point, it was still early so we are SURROUNDED by empty tables. So I ask her if she could sit somewhere else as I already have all my things out. But NO, she wants to sit HERE.

What the....?!? Excuse me miss, is there buried treasure under this table?

Unfortunately it was too early in the morning to argue with her about property rights, so I humbly packed up my things and shuffled off. I think enough has been said about "kiasuism" and the "chopeing" (or however you spell it) mentality. So instead I'm going to talk about a few courses of action one could take should this happen to you. You know how you only think of the best comebacks on the way home on the bus? Well, here's a couple of things I wish I had said:

Scenario 1:

Girl: I put the book there. So this is my table.

You (calmly pick up book and place on floor): Oh really? Well now there it is. So I suppose that is your floor then.

Scenario 2:

Girl: I put the book there. So this is my table.

You (place bag or any personal item on floor): Well, I put my bag on the floor. So this is my floor. Please remove your table off my floor.

The key is to be really pleasant while you're saying it. If they look confused, just repeat nicely and slowly, like when explaining to a 5 year old child. If they get offensive, just say " Oh, I'm sorry. Your own logic doesn't make much sense, does it?" Here's to a big gulp of bitter medicine for irrationality. I hope this helps in someway, so you won't be sitting on a bus wishing you had said something.

www.av8n.com/physics/basic_physics.html



Priceless.

Girl (munching on a cheeseburger and reading a review of The Cove*): you know, these Japanese people are just too much. They’re so disgusting.

Me: Why?

Girl: Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? They eat whales! How can they be so cruel?

Me: Aren’t you eating a cow right now?

Girl: What? That’s different. Whales are an endangered species.

Me: Okay. So it's fine to kill things as long as they’re more of it?

Girl (pauses): No...it’s not that. I mean like, they’re so many cows anyway. And they’ve been meant as food for a long time.

Me: There are so many cows because we are intentionally breeding them for consumption. And some Japanese have been eating whales for a long time too. Does that make it okay then?

Girl: No... But it’s also because whales are highly intelligent animals.

Me: So then, is it okay to kill things as long as they’re not intelligent enough?

Girl: Look, it’s just different alright...

+++

How is it that people can shake their fists at the Japanese for whaling while munching on a  cheeseburger? What is the difference between the life of a whale and the life of a cow, or chicken, or pig etc. Is quantity a measure of which life is more significant? If so, why don’t we start breeding whales so that they can become food? Is intelligence a measure of which life is more significant? If it is, I say let us kill everyone on Big Brother. Hur hur.

The conversation also reminded me of another one about some Koreans eating dogs. And someone saying how asians can eat almost anything and everything. Again, what is the difference between eating a dog and, for instance, a pig? Is it just because one animal is more socially acceptable to eat and consume?

Ethical systems are supposed to be consistent. Why do we adopt one moral code for our public sphere and another for our private one? That is why I have to give credit to a friend of mine who recently said “it’s for that sole reason I am hell bent on eating a whale”. Well, at least, she’s adopting one moral code and standing by it through and through.


*The Cove is a documentary that won the audience award for best documentary at Sundance 2009. It exposes a group of Japanese people killing and torturing dolphins. Not whales, I know, but it sparked the memory of the previous whaling fiascos.

Step 1: Contrary to popular belief, don’t blame the universe. Saying things like “it’s a cruel world” actually encourages some form of anger. Anger is counteractive to depression. Understand that the world is not actually cruel, it is just that you really are an insignificant speck in the universe. It is because you are unwilling to admit that you do not make any difference that you personify the world as “cruel” to justify your meaningless existence.

Step 2: Purposefulness and happiness are not natural states of life. Think about it. The natural state of things should be one that requires no effort. Therefore, because everything else takes an effort, indifference is the real natural state. As such, abandon all cares and concerns. In fact, abandon anything and everything that requires effort.

Step 3: “No man’s an island” is a statement concocted by someone who was clearly needy and desperate. You should avoid as much human contact as possible. Nobody really wants to know you. The smiles are forced and the chit chat merely polite. So why conform to the patterns of society? Start by hiding behind doors until people you may know have walked past. Also, try to break off any remaining human links you might have. An easy and entertaining way to do this is by calling them by the wrong name and when they correct you, acknowledge it and then proceed to apologize to them using the wrong name again. Repeat as necessary.


Be Depressed Now!
In 3 Easy Steps!

it's always the same old same old same old same old same old dreary thing over and over again. sam asked himself what the hell he was doing every single fucking time. ok i would do it now he says. now now now. no wait. just give me a few more minutes. time jumps yes it jumps. jumps away and past you without so much as a whisper. bloody fucking time. it's such a restraint. time is the bars that surround you. cages you in. fuck it. im in this deep already. what the hell. i dont care. no i do. no i dont. not that much anyways. not enough to do something.

oh well. its over anyways. fuck! fuck fuck fuck .why why why why, everysinglebloodytime. i dont understand. i dont understand my own thoughts. you know how they sieve for gold by using this net with little holes to remove the unwanted dirt and just keeping the good stuff? there should be something like that for the mind, how wonderful would it be. to be able to sieve my thoughts. just keep the good stuff in. ok fuck me focus goddammit! do something. now. just do it! but i dont want to. i stil have some time left right. no you dont. yeah i do. i dont care. i dont care what anyone else thinks. yes thats it. fuck you Ian. shuttup! fuck off fuck you i hate your bloody guts. everytime i stare at you im imagining how it would feel to dig my fingers into your eyeballs. you are so fucking self-rghteous and the worse thing is you dont even realise it and there you go trying to be the nice one the one who's right the one who is like everyone else. bah! thats me spitting in your face.

ok whatever focus now. just do it. stop blaming people. no im not blaming anyone. im just pissed off but im not blaming. there's a difference. ok now. stop smelling that. ok one more time, ok stop. but it feels so good. makes me forget. momentarily anyways. but thats good enough. makes me feel ok. feel alright. like everything will be ok. i want a reel life. where's my reel life.